Who would take care of the male ego?

first_imgStrict, stricter, strictest laws… then what?I’m not generalizing that ‘all men are same’ or ‘all men are rapists,’ but correct me if I am wrong that all rapists are men. All abusers and eve-teasers are men. All dowry getters are men.Go back to Nirbhaya horror, almost 8 years back, or Hathras Gang rape mere two weeks back … what has actually changed? Honestly, nothing but the new victims and accused. Also, not to forget the evolved ways to cover up the deed.The mentality of the accused, the criminals, hasn’t evolved even a bit. What they understand is their desires and the need to satisfy their own lusts, it doesn’t really matter if there is a day-old girl child or a 90-year-old woman. Or an innocent boy.Open any page of a newspaper, there will either be news of harassment, sexual abuse, attempt to rape, dowry, rape etc. but how many of the accused are actually punished to establish a strong ground, that the accused won’t be set free or be given any kind of mercy? The number is quite low.This post is not about the number of victims and the number of accused that get punished. This post is more of a wake-up call for everyone who thinks that laws alone are responsible for such incidents to occur in the first place.This is about one of the reasons that we as a society fail to acknowledge or understand.The male ego. The accused’s ego. The ego that cannot and will not accept a no from a woman.Responses could be as subtle as a shout or an occasional beating, or as harsh as setting her on fire or raping her and leaving her to die. Or better kill her.For them, a woman is born to serve. Take their command and fulfil them. Do not question back nor delay the chores. And certainly, don’t learn the word no. No is not for women.So, when they come across a woman who is capable of denying or being on her own, that disturbs their male peace of mind. And they cover it up saying she was asking for it, blame it on the clothes, the atmosphere, the timing. All that could be said to ignore the fact that doesn’t have a control on themselves and their sick mindset.Friends play a major role here too. Since the constant taunting about how a woman could back answer or deny him, really plays with the psyche of thoughts.Whenever people say that law is to blamed, the judiciary is to be blamed, the lack of sex education in school is to be blamed, etc., they fail to mention the role that a right mind would play. The incarnated values matter but the surroundings matter more.A child does not learn what you teach him, he learns what he sees and what he experiences.If we really want a better world for the women and children out there, start at the very basic level. Start by teaching your son to respect and teach him to differentiate between right and wrong. Teach your daughters to speak up when the first red flag shows up, and give her the environment to speak freely.Prepare an environment where there is equality of thoughts and division of labour between both. Let him know that he can do the household chores too and that if a woman is superior to him it’s not a matter of shame. Let her know that her only job is not to take care of the husband and the kids, and definitely not to stay shut on anyone’s misbehaviour.Teach the men to accept no as willingly as they’d accept yes. Teach your daughters to say no, clear and loud. Consent is a choice, not anyone’s pride or ego.Remember that when a man is walking down a road and sees a shadow, he thinks of a thief, but when a woman is walking down the road and sees a shadow, she thinks of a molester or a potential rapist.last_img

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